Kenyan Lawyer Sues Israel For Killing Jesus

A Kenyan lawyer, Dola Indidis, is suing the
State of Israel, the Republic of Italy for the
trial and crucifixion of Jesus Christ which
the lawyer claims was unlawful.
Dola Indidis, a Roman Catholic, is
petitioning the International Court of
Justice, to nullify Jesus’ conviction and
death sentence by Pontius Pilate.
Indidas is accusing Pilate, who was the
Roman governor of Judea, of “judicial
misconduct, abuse of office, bias and
prejudice.”
For Indidis, it’s all about human rights,
and he feels as though Jesus suffered
greatly.
In particular, the lawyer is challenging the
modes of questioning used in Jesus’ trial
more than 2,000 years ago.
“Jesus came here on Earth as a human
being,” Indidis told Kenyan Citizen News.
“Now when he died, he was not given an
opportunity to be heard. No one speaks
for him.”
Indidis first brought his case before the
Kenyan High Court in Nairobi in 2007, but
the court refused to hear it, saying it
lacked jurisdiction.
Now he is turning to the International
Court of Justice, often referred to as the
World Court, which is best known for
ruling on territorial disputes between
members of the United Nations.
Indidis’ petition has surprised Christian
leaders in Kenya.
But Indidis seems undeterred and points
to the example of Joan of Arc, the 15th-
century saint who led the French to major
victories against the English before she
was captured and burned at the stake. A
quarter-century after Joan’s death her
conviction was overturned by a papal
court, and in 1920 she was canonized.

ASUU strike: NANS exco splits, disowns president

ABUJA—Executive members of the
National Association of Nigerian Students,
NANS, have disowned the national
president, Mr. Yinka Gbadebo, on his
support for the Federal Government in
the ongoing strike by the Academic Staff
Union of Universities, ASUU.
Some members of the executive told
newsmen, yesterday, that students were
largely unbiased in the crisis and the
inclination of Mr. Gbadebo to support
the government was a deviation from the
students’ collective goal of resolving the
crisis.
The executive members who included
national assistant secretary general, Ali
Mohammed , the national sports
director, Talib Abubakar Gumel, director
of travels and exchange, Olusegun
Oyebisi, said there was no consultation
on the issues before Gbadebo declared
NANS support for the Federal
Government.
The students also dissociated NANS as a
body from the ongoing face off between
officials of the Federal Government and
the Rivers State government saying that
their president did not have any right to
speak on the issue.
“The national president did not have our
mandate to support the federal
government over the strike as we are a
neutral body. We do not support either
the federal government or ASUU because
it is the students that bear the brunt of
the strike,” Ali who spoke on behalf of his
colleagues said yesterday.
“We call on ASUU and the Federal
Government to resolve the issue within
seven days so that the students can
return to their campuses.”
“We do not understand why the national
president should support the federal
government or what concerns students
with what is happening between the
Rivers State governor and the President.
The matter is between the two of them it
doesn't concern the students.”

Asserting the fact

I dreamt that Senator Ahmed Yerima was elected the President of Nigeria.He settled into Aso Rock and introduced a thirteen-year old, Fatima, as his wife and First Lady of Nigeria. That instantly posed a problem for the media which did not know whether Nigeria had a First Child or First Lady.Opinion was divided, but Ray Ekpu ofNewswatch stepped in and decided that the media should hold a nationalconference and take a common position on how to address the President’s teen wife so as not to embarrass the President.The Nobel laureate, Prof. Wole Soyinka maintained that to be grammatically correct, we should notaddress a child as a lady and asserted with authority that a “lady” is a term used to address “mature women” not “children.” He argued that she should remain a “First Child until further notice.”“But the People’s Democratic Party maintained that the problem was notgrammatical but political.To which famous lawyer, Chief Femi Falana pointed out that the “child” in question was not of voting age and as such should not impose a political burden on the country. He maintained that the nation should assume that the President had no legal wife or in the alternative ask him to produce another wife worthy of being addressed as a First Lady and who was of voting age.“We were still trying to solve the matter when we heard that some civil right groups had taken the matter to the court to annul the marriage and let the child go back to school. We told them to hold on that the child was still in school and will actually be a part time First Child or First Lady and part time student. The case was dropped.We would have rested the matter there but, guess what? Along came Prof. Dora Akunyili (I mean Prof DoraAkunyili again!) and said she had it on good authority that Her Excellency was still bed-wetting. She said it would do great damage to her re-branding exercise and wondered “how you could rebrand a country when the First Lady was busy wettingbeds abroad.”“The Federal Ministry of Health responded promptly that it had developed drugs which could take care of bed wetting, but if the drugs were not okay, then the First Lady could use catheter in the night and not wet beds in presidential guest houses abroad.Everyone was relieved but guess what? The Central Bank came charging that such money would not be charged to any budgetary item and would amount to an extra-budgetaryexpenditure and fraud.The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission agreed and said the National Assembly should approve a “Bed-wetting allowance” for the president, before any fund was drawn. They noted that if the man were to travel as much as President Olusegun Obasanjo did, thenit would add to the national inflation and would be difficult to justify basedon existing financial regulations.“Well the debate was still raging when we heard that President Barrack Obama was coming to Nigeria on a state visit and would be accompanied by his wife, Michele. Civil liberties organizations swung into action and tried to persuade the American Embassy to postpone the trip until the “First Lady” issue was resolved. But the Embassy said the visit was part of a tour of strategic African states and Nigeria was amongst the most important in Africa.“Obama actually came and was met on the tarmac by President Yerima with his wife, Fatima, in tow. Obama thought Her Excellency, Mrs Fatima Yeriama, was the garland girl and bent down to have her hang a garland on his neck. Her Excellency on the other hand thought differentlyin the innocence of her childlike heart, and thought he was bending down to admire her dress. She giggled and said, “Isn’t this a very wonderful dress? It is the same color with my undies.”“Michele laughed heartily and picked up Her Excellency in her hands, stroking her head. I nearly fainted! She turned to President Yerima and said, ‘This should be your beautiful daughter, where is her mother -your wife?’ To which President Yerima looked at her stunned, not knowing what to say. The American ambassador to Nigeria stepped in and saved the situation, ‘Mrs. Obama, that is the President’s wife that you are carrying in your hands. You may wish to put her down beside her husband so that the reception will continue.’“The Nigerian First Lady who had been struggling to get out of Michele’s hands, looked up indignantly at the American First Lady, said, ‘I will not be your friend again. Only my husband carries me up and you dared to carry me up.’President Obama stroked his tie thoughtfully and said, “Let us not have a diplomatic row over this, I forgot to tell Michele that in Africa you catch them young. It is entirely my fault. My apologies to the First Couple.And now Mr President can we proceed to other reception formalities?” Soon the airport reception was over and the two First Ladies had to while away time while the Presidents discussed matters of state. Mrs Yerima insisted on showing Mrs Obama her toys and her grades in school. The other women stood idly by as one baby doll after the other was shown to MrsObama. “My husband bought this toyfor me from SoudiArabia, she can even sing, let me play it for you.” MrsObama nodded.“Her Excellency Fatima hit the buttonand the doll began to sing, “God damn America the great Satan, downwith the infidels and down with the west…”Mrs. Obama cringed but the child paid her no heed. She bounded over to the television and turned it on. Then she moved the dial to Cartoon Network and turned to Mrs Obama, “Do you watch Tom and Jerry?”But by this time Mrs Obama had had enough, she fainted and had to be flown back to America.

Hackers Infiltrate Nigerian Army Computers

News reaching us is that Cyber Hackers have infiltrated the
intricate computer security systems ofthe Nigerian army headquarter In the Federal Capital,Abuja and are now using one of its email accounts to scam the general public into making payments,and we would want to make the general public aware of this scam.

  One of the emails the hackers sent out to random people on the compromised emails states "I need your help" reads "good
morning, I'm so sorry to bother you on this, I just heard that my younger sister was involved in an accident en-route Kogi and she needs to be operated urgently and the hospital is demanding for about 83,000
naira before they commence the surgery,
and I understand she is in a very bad state
I can't meet up the urgency from here,
please I beg of you to assist me on this?  I
will refund you as soon as I get back; I can send the doctors acct details to you if you can help me! Please email me back please."
    Colonel John Agim of the public relations directorate said in a statement that "it has come to the notice of this directorate that
some fraudsters are using our official email address to circulate messages seeking for financial assistance from the general public

Dj khaled proposes to Nicki Minaj

It might just be one massive diamond
ring shaped publicity stunt but just two
days after DJ Khaled’s bizarre proposal –
Nicki Minaj is wearing a huge rock on her
engagement finger.
The curvy singer hasn’t responded to the
request for marriage which was
awkwardly aired on MTV but these
pictures might tell a different story.
The ring appears to be the exact same $
500,000 diamond rock which DJ Khaled
unveiled in his heartfelt proposal. Nicki
wore yellow jeans and a neon pink hat
with her name blazened across the front
as she was pictured leaving Crustation
Restaurant in Beverly Hills.
The pair aren’t even dating, though Minaj
currently is single and is probably
dwelling on a decision. US superstar
Khaled was talking with MTV when he
pulled out the giant diamond ring and
proposed to
Minaj.
He said: “Nicki Minaj, I’m at MTV, I’m
going to be honest with you; I love you… I
like you, I want you, I want you to be
mine. Nicki Minaj, will you marry me?
“If you gotta take your time and think
about it, I understand, but I know I have to
be here today to let you know how
serious I am and how serious this is to
me.”
He unveils a 10 karat diamond
ring from Rafaello & Co., believed to be worth in the region of a massive $500,000, from
MTV sources.
There’s no word yet whether or not he
asked his mate Drake for permission to
wed his ex-lover. Minaj featured in the
remix of Khaled’s biggest song All I Do Is Win.

BIZARRE: The Church Where People Worship Nakéd

Whitetail Chapel in Ivor, Virginia about 61 miles from Richmond, Virginia is a church where members worship in the nude. The pastor and congregation have taken the statement “Come as you are” very literal.

Allen Parker, the pastor of Whitetail Chapel said, “Jesus was naked during some of his most important moments. When he was born he was naked, when he was crucified he was naked and when he arose he left his clothes in the tomb and he was naked. If God made us that way, how can that be wrong?” Pastor Parker further stated that the church is family-oriented and the members are very involved in helping others.The pastor said: “I consider this a gift and a privilege God has given me. They’re caring, they’re understanding,and they’re community and family oriented. We have one of the most involved chapels anyplace around. I’ll put our church up against others around.”Richard Foley, a congregant said, “I really don’t think God cares what you wear when you worship.”Sabrina, a member of Whitetail says, ”I have been a member of this church and it is just the same as a “normal church.” I have sat in this chapel and the services are moving. You will not be turned away even if you go with clothes on. Whitetail Chapel is made up of regular people.”A male member of the church said, “As for God, God would rather you be in church naked, piously worshiping and being a spiritual person with good morals than being out sinning and spreading hate with your clothes on.”The Whitetail Chapel is part of the Whitetail Nudist Resort, the only year-round nudist resort in Virginia. Ithas been in existence since 1984 and is reported to be increasing. More than 10,000 people visit each year and the percentage goes up each year.

WHO IS TO BLAME, WHEN NO ONE WANTS BLAME?

  After reading Xoel Cardenas article on thiago alcantara’s exit, the pressure it places on Rosell sandro and Tito vilanova’s regime, even on the club, and the apparent need for a midfielder, I felt itchy to get into the action and ask who is really to be blamed, when no one wants to get blamed.

Do Rosell Sandro and Tito Villanova
have question marks over their heads
on thiago’s exit?

  Definitely, Villanova being the worst
culprit here, this past season was
really awful for the coach, despite
clinching la liga in record time,
equaling Mourinho’s record points, but his lack of faith on the youngsters
on the team, his constant fielding his first team against even weak
opposition, stymied Barcelona chances of winning the champions league, as fatigue set in, in most of the games Barcelona were a goal or goals down,our coach casting a figure of onecompletely mystified, was truly pathetic,
he looked like one without an answer to teams that played great counter
attacking football and always exposed the backline, he was always staring into absentia, probably praying Messi and Co. could produce yet another comebacks, in a season where Barcelona had to struggle, which was funny,
because at the start of pre season, he was
being hailed as the tactical
mastermind behind Barcelona record
setting seasons under pep, how come he
has failed now that he is in charge, to
show off this tactical ingenuity,
or even play youths, which was the
hallmark of Guardiola’s regime, he
always failed to come with a proper plan,
knowing how counter attacking
sides |A.C Milan, Bayern F.C, Real
Madrid| exposed our defensive woes,
especially the defensive defiencies of our
fullbacks, or even a backup plan
when we were on the back foot.
Tito is a club favorite, but the bravest
we have seen our coach was
facing the knife, do we set sentiments
aside and see our coach for who he
is, someone who lacks the tactical nous,
never has a backup plan, even
lacking the flair, the charisma which
made pep world best coach at one
point.
Should Rosell be re-elected as club
president despite the whole thiago
fiasco or even his falling out with pep,
definitely not, He is at present,
the president of the club, while pep and
thiago now part of our past,
Rosell will always first be a business man,
and that has really helped the
club, as his spending policies have helped
Barcelona out of debt, which may
not necessarily augur well with the club’s
fans, and now he has shown he is
one with the times, with the signing of
Neymar, which we all have to agree
is a great move, on both sides which he
represents, the business and the
football, solving half of Barcelona’s past
season woes, the over dependency
on Messi for all the club goals, now the
other halve of the problem is yet
to be met as the board is yet to sign an
“elite defender”, who can blame
him when tito’s definition of an elite
defender is ‘Thiago Silva’, no one
else, does it really make it easy for the
board to sign, signing the best
defender in the world from one of the
richest clubs in the world.
Agreed, Rosell does have questions to
answer in regards to thiago’s
transfer to Bayern Munich, therefore
strengthening the team that really
raised questions over Barcelona’s
designation as the best club side of the
century. How much of this can be faulted
to the club president, how much of
this blame needs to be apportioned to
vilanova’s unwillingness to play the
youngster in a season where he would
really have thrived.

THE SERGI ROBERTO SITUATION?
Xavi is on the decline , that’s no
longer news, and does it helps
that his proposed successor now plays for
our arch-rivals |Bayern Munich ,
formerly Chelsea f.c|, thiago simply
makes them stronger and us, weaker.
We always have Fabregas, don’t we, but
this past season has shown tito’s
unwillingness to play youth prospects,
imagine Fabregas gets injured a week
before a semi final champions league
against Real Madrid, a team we hardly
beat this past season, would sergi Roberto
really be the man to man our
midfield?
Sergi Roberto is a great talent, but it
would do the team a great deal of
good to loan him to a la liga team that
offers him first team football, and
he gets to prune his skills, rather than he
being the next young player to
warm the bench, as we learnt from bartra
last season, you cant really count
on a young player who hardly plays for
the team to make a stand out
performance when needed, and sergi
Roberto situation doesn’t help as he has
only featured just four times in his 4
years in camp nou.
Sergi Roberto on loan, leaves the midfield
with a player short, and thus
needs reinforcements, ilkay gundogan
would be an upgrade, but his
willingness to leave or Dortmund
willingness to sell is yet to be seen,
Mathieu Valbuena , would also be a much
better backup plan to Roberto.

THE BOTTOM LINE?
- Barcelona needs an elite defender, and
there are really few of them
out there, marquinhos from Roma or
mangala from Porto, both depends on
how much barca is willing to pay for
their services, David luiz is most
times erratic, but would define the buy
of the season, a player able to
cover two fronts as a defender and as a
midfielder, it would actually be
killing two birds with one stone. Rosell,
I hope you are listening.
- If Tito is to continue being coach, he
has to be willing to come all
out, ready to prove his pundits wrong,
and prove he really has the
characters to be camp nou greatest
leader yet.

By Jay Robinson,
For the Barcelona blog,
barcablaugranes.com